Hello,

My name is Steven. Last time I checked, I was a student at Cañada College. I used to edit a newspaper, which went okay. I used to be a minor internet personality, which went terribly. I was in Oregon last year, but perhaps my memory is hazey. I'm not really sure.

I write stories about my life, mostly. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're sad. Sometimes you'll disagree with them, sometimes you'll find them vaguely true. Sometimes you'll like them, sometimes you'll hate them. I suppose it's up to you to figure out which one of those you are. 

Everything on this website is my own work, and was created for the lowest possible cost. 

The dates at the top of stories are when they were started. 

Contact me via email at steven@thesuttonfamily.com if you want to be traditional, via Instagram @stevensuttonisinatree if you want to be all preppy and new-fangled, or via carrier pigeon if you want the most prompt response. Please send the pigeons directly into the mouth of the nearest wildcat. I'm probably in there, and will send a response immediately upon receipt via smoke signals.

My name is Steven.

Say that again, but slower this time.

Ooo yeah

sounds like cheese

one of those good smelly ones from france